netherworld_academy | (no subject)

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mindy macready

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And we're back to the tournament, and the first official event! Sadly, while this isn't an elimination round, it does promise to be entertaining. Over to you Same!

Usagi, I'm here in the Jungle with esteemed Netherworld Academy professor of Adventure and Archeology Schwartzoid Kampff.

Humph. If I am so esteemed, why hasn't the Academy sent me a pay check in three years? Or any graduate students? I can't explore this ancient temple on my own!

Well that's where our contestants come in Professor! Come on, tell them about this place.

I doubt they will listen. Do any of them know that these artifacts belong in a proper museum? Well, until recently I had safely contained the Forbidden Idol of the Silver Monkey-until these idiots broke it and threw all the pieces back into the shrine, re-activating it's stupefying curse. To make matters worse, they have released a tribe of tiny reptilian monsters and heavily armed them with guns, spears and bows, allowing them to repair and restore all the traps I had disarmed. The Temple has four entrances-one on each side, each one suited for a different mindset. The main entrance, for the suicidal who enjoy assaulting heavily defended positions, is here on the east side, the west side has a small hole that an agile person can slip through. On the north there is a bricked-over door that must be battered down to reveal the monster-infested guts of the temple, and the south side, I must say, is my favorite with many devious and difficult puzzles.

This all sounds incredibly dangerous! Each judge can award up to five points for skill and speed in dealing with the temple, it's traps and it's denizens. And while they will remain safe with us here aboard the Sky-Yacht Greedy Bastard Tour they will have a close-up view of the action through the tiny cameras we've attached to all the contestants, monsters, and all the best angles inside the temple.

[OOC: Everyone gets their own private thread as they explore the temple, seek the idol, and try to beat the other's times to get back out! After every round, the temple will be reset, so feel free to blow up as much of it as you like, though the Professor will make anyone who is too careless about destroying artifacts sift dirt for her for a week. All traps and walls will be restored exactly as they were-so feel free to go in any order, without a care for who came or went before you. Just do your best, have fun, and remember: The bottom of the monkey goes on the pedestal first, then the middle section, and THEN the head.*

*You actually have to bring the idol out of the temple, not just put it on the pedestal.]

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[Ruffnut is both fired up and mildly suicidal so she's charging the front entrance with her buckler in front of her, helmet on secure and sparks exploding from her feet with each stomping loping long legged step as she charges in screaming out the frustrations of being a Viking girl with a broken heart.]

[It's like Christmas came early for the Kobolds this year!

Debuffs! Arrows! Pots full of burning oil! Can any of this stop the Berserker?]

[The arrows ping against her armor with a delightful sound but not much in the way of slowing her down. An arrow to the knee however sends her crashing to the ground. She rolls forward sitting up and yanks the arrow out with a hiss and a glare at the EXACT Kobold who fired it. He will die screaming. This much she is decided upon.

On her feet again limping at first till the adrenaline kicks in again she sees the pots of burning oil and responds in kind by flinging bolts of electricity at them hoping for an explosion.]

[Isn't 'I took an arrow to the Knee' a viking metaphor for marriage?

In any case, the explosions come not from the burning electrified pots of oil raining down in front of her, bur from the exploding magic arrows that strike her in the back. And in the distance, at the far end of the corridor, a pair of balistas are being aimed at the viking with great care.

So it's penned in by arrows with two small catapults being aimed at you Ruffnut-what are you going to do?]

[The explosions in her back knock her down the corridor where she bounces and rolls and lays flat for a moment sizzling with oil and magic.

Then, slowly, a hand grips the floor and pushes up. Her eyes are glowing hot white with little bolts of lightning dancing around them. With a snarl and barring her teeth she lets out another roar and creates an explosion of her own at her feet to rocket her throw the air, firing herself like a missile at the catapults.]

[The crew of the ballistas pull the release before diving out of the way, sending two massive stakes of bamboo covered in poison straight down the Gallery, even as the electricity fries a few of the Kobolds and makes more of them twitch and miss their shots.

Conscious or not, impaled or whole, Ruffnut will collide with the far end of the gallery-a doorway filled with rocks and mortar to seal up this way in.]

Edited 2013-07-16 21:22 (UTC)

[She slams into it and bounces off going limp like a rag doll. She's got poisoned stakes skewering her somewhere in the middle and even the sparks of her lightning have died down. Is this it? Is she finally dead?]

********************

Wake up fucker!

Ruffnut's eyes fluttered open to see the scowling face of her beloved Mindy. The dark eyed girl gives her a kick.

I said move! What the hell kind of viking just lays around all day?

Laughing Ruffnut rose to her feet standing half a head taller then Mindy. But the younger girl was catching up to her fast. Puberty was very kind to Mindy and Ruffnut was finding she appreciated the way her lovers body was adapting to the demonic world they'd been thrust in.

Wake up Ruffnut or you're really gonna die and then how will you find me again? Huh?

"Well...if I was dead they'd just revive me and I'd keep looking." Ruffnut reasoned.

Fuck that! Mindy punched her in the arm. You need that EXP if you're gonna get strong enough to bust into the multiverse. And dieing won't earn you anything!

Ruffnut rubbed her arm guiltily "Yeah yeah."

Mindy sniffed, Alright...I didn't want to do this but you need motivation.

Ruffnut's eyes widened in horror as the hallucination Mindy began hungrily making out with Tuffnut. They were practically devouring each other with sloppy wet kisses.

The viking girl felt her blood boil. And as Valkyries descended to try and take her to Valhalla (again) Ruffnut let out a feral roar and punched them back into the sky.

**********************

White lightning begins to roll along her body, crackling and burning. Anything metal began to rattle and pulse and push back as reverse magnetism pushes back on it. Grubby gauntlets grip at the floor and trembling arms push her back up.

Eyes blazing white she rises, standing tall. With a grunt and a hiss she yanks the stakes out of her and crushes them in her hand. The poison will slow her down, but the holes in her body seem to be pouring out sparks rather then blood.

Looks like she's ready for round 2]

...

[Oh, and we're back! The Kobold cleanup crew was coming to get rid of the corpse-but since it seems that she's not dead yet, two of them are going to run away while the third tries to stab her with a stone knife. And as if that weren't trouble enough, the archers are responding to the resurrection with a screech and a new hail of arrows-though the Ballista crews, slackers to a man, haven't gotten around to cranking their siege engines back up and ready to fire. And they're so close to her now they probably wouldn't be able to hit her anyways-so they draw pistols instead, tiny derringers that are like Desert Eagles to the tiny lizard-men.

On the plus side though, the dang explosive arrows are pelting both her and the less-than-solid masonry that fills the exit door.]

[She moves in bright bursts of lightning, springing from the floor to the wall to the ceiling and back to the floor again. Every time she shoves of a flash of light as she focuses on dodging the assault. While usually she simply takes the damage Mindy always did try to stress the importance of avoiding any damage.

Still this is Ruffnut we're talking about, so by the third cycle she's feeling pretty smug and gets peppered with bullets that she has to try and block with her buckler]

OWOWOWOWOW KNOCK IT OFF!

[Furiously she flings a ball of energy back at them in retaliation]

[More shocking, more havoc, more Kobolds dying. Actually they die really easily, like ridiculously fast. But is killing Kobolds really the goal here?]

[Well it sure makes her feel better! During the lull she spins and slams her shield into the wall trying to break it down further.]

I'm not letting ANYTHING get in my way!

[A bit of mortar falls out of place when she slams into the wall-but it's going to take more than one hit or something special to blow this door open.]

RRRRRGH!!!

[Snarling and turns to face the Kobolds]

HEY! If you bastards don't want to die, open this wall. If you don't I'm gonna come over there and start feeding you your own feet!

[The Kobolds laugh at her from their arrow slits-maybe from desire to enrage her, maybe from mocking, maybe from the sheer ridiculousness of the idea. Open the wall? What does she think they are, dragons?]

[With a furious shriek she lunges for the nearest slit curling her fingers around it and straining her muscles to rip it open. Electricity surges through her muscles and in frustration she opens her mouth spewing lightning directly into it the arrow hole]

[Kobold masonry is bad-but in this case they simply carved holes in the old facade of the temple, so it's a lot sturdier than normal. And her 'breath weapon' only burns a couple of the numerous monsters to a crisp. For all her rage and thunder, she's still ineffective in the larger picture.

And using up all this power just to kill a few crazy lizard-men might be a bad idea if that lightning is all that's keeping Ruffnut upright with that hole in her middle.]

[It is really. It's a terrible idea but it's all she's got right now.

Flopping to the ground once more panting and wheezing Ruffnut grumbles some rude words and drags herself back over to the wall, using it to drag herself to her feet.]

This is so STUPID!

[She punches the wall savoring the burning in her knuckles from the harsh contact]

I'm just wasting TIME!

[Another punch, blood trickling from her knuckles.]

Mindy would be SO PISSED!

[Two punches this time. Tears in her eyes from the stinging but a perverse smile creeping across her features as she's too exhausted to be angry now and her inherent masochism is settling in. Another punch, and another, her arms seem to stretch the more she winds back for each hit till she's delivering a rapid fire machine gun of punches to the wall, gauntlets ringingout as it scrapes stone, sparks flying with each punch. One of the first attacks she ever learned. Her muscles ache but she pushes harder and faster, till each hit sends waves of pain through the bones in her arms and makes her quiver with delight.]

[Each blow has a small effect-but pebbles may wear down a mountain, or in this case, punching may knock loose a block of stone to fall on your foot. And with one out of place, others are knocked loose. It's just a narrow crack-but maybe it's enough to shimmy through?]

Finally!

[She squeezes through with some difficulty, flipping off the Kobolds as she does and leaving a trail of blood along the way]

[It's a rather tight fit-were she any less lanky she would have gotten stuck, and as things are she still has a bit of trouble with her shoulders and hips, but she just manages to squeeze through into the Shrine-and the Curse of the Silver Monkey that makes everyone who tries to assemble the simple three piece statue an idiot.]

[That's not a long fall in IQ for Ruffnut She lets out a whoop though and scrambles to gather up the pieces.]

First one here!

[Despite the fact that that's not how the race works. She stares at the pieces and picks one up rolling it back and forth in her hands before smacking it against the other pieces. When that doesn't work she tries blasting them with lighting, completely unable to see the simple solution.]

[Banging the pieces against each other doesn't damage them, and zapping them with lightning only causes the charge to rebound against Ruffnut-Silver is a perfect conductor of electricity.

Still, if she can even get one piece fitted against the others, that will lessen the curse's effects and allow her to probably figure out the next piece...within 15 minutes or so.]

[An hour and a half passes as Ruffnut throws the pieces, kicks them, hits them some more, chews on them, screams at them, ties them together, and eventually gets them in one piece. When she does it's such a relief she almost passes out.]

God I'm glad Mindy wasn't here to see that.

....

[Oh, we're back? Great! By the way, the Kobolds have set up YET ANOTHER trap at the exit since you took so long. Getting out may be easier than getting in, but nobody said it had to be a cakewalk.]

[With idol in hands...Ruffnut's just gonna run for it. She's running out of juice and that means losing alot of blood as she stumbles and fumbles her way towards the exit and trap]

Ihatethisihatethisihatethis.