A secret must be kept to be of value to trust another with.

Further... Trust alone isn't enough, in your situation.

You are not yet used to using your body to its fullest potential... Or even a significant fraction of it. Even your combat style represents this - you aren't used to throwing things, or striking directly.

Something as easy as a daily Aikido exercise with streches and a full warm-up and cooldown would be enough to help you attain your potential grace - and with it, best use your strength. It wouldd make learning ninjutsu much easier, if nothing else.

I'd be willing to provide that for one willing to learn. No cost, other than that you'd have to commit to doing so.