nother intro, with 9 times as many tails and 100% less sonic relevance

[fluffytails]

[Those checking the generic communication device now might spot a transmission from another new arrival.

Who looked rather dark. Her hair? Jet black. Her dress? Black. Her huge, fluffy tails? Black. Even the white of her eyes was, well, not white, but quite black indeed. And were those black particle effects around her? Sheesh, someone really had tried to make her look evol. Or edgy. Or both.

For maximum effect, she was currently lolling on a mound of perfectly white pillows, which contrasted her quite a bit.]

Why, hello! As I arrived during a time of invasion, it's only natural to introduce myself, lest I find myself killed as a traitor or spy.

My name is Himiko. I am, as you can see, a fox - and therefore highly suspicious, so I will avoid the regular 'I am harmless' talk, as true as it may be.

[She stretched, then made herself comfortable by shuffling a bit. One of her tails brought her a gem-encrusted goblet, which seemed to be filled with fine wine, of which she took a sip.]

No, no, there's nothing I want in particular, I don't even have a question, although I am somewhat curious about those winged ones trying to catch me, for whatever reason.

Either way, nice to meet you - even though the circumstances are anything but.

Comments

[fluffytails]

Thank you kindly, I appreciate it. It's always good when constructs have a good, cordial relationship with their makers, I believe.

That sure is true. A problem for me as well, there's not much for a poor fox like myself to do what I am supposed to do. It's truly tragic.

[notjustinthemirror]

What do poor foxes like yourself normally do?

[fluffytails]

Drink alcohol, plot nefarious shemes that silly monks try to counter, and swap places with abducted princesses, for the most part.

How about your kind, what is your lot normally up to?

[notjustinthemirror]

Create alcohol. Trail around an incompetent ex-FBI agent while he gets assaulted by crazed homeless people. That's about it.

So you abduct princesses and then pretend to be them? Clever.

[fluffytails]

Is the alcohol any good? And fooling around with agents sounds rather enjoyable, I'm sure.

As for the later, it can be truly fun, particularly when there's a would-be knight in shining armor. Stringing them along is amusing.

[notjustinthemirror]

It's whatever you want it to be. Believe it or not some people like drinking shit that will make them go blind.

And what do you do with the would be princess?

[fluffytails]

Ah, I don't tend to drink beverages that strong. I could, mind you, I just don't like the taste much. My tongue is sensitive!

As for what I do to princesses, well... I am not a wolf, so I wouldn't eat them outside of euphemisms! I mostly have tea with them and send them off, they don't really offer much of interest for the most part.

[notjustinthemirror]

Missed opportunity. You could probably make them fight to the death using only their tiaras.

[fluffytails]

Hm, yes, but I'd think that to get boring after a few times. I like it more to send princes off on endless, futile goose chases.

[notjustinthemirror]

And after you kidnapped them they still trust that you're telling the truth about these things?

[fluffytails]

Odd isn't it? Most of them are gullible.

Some hit me with a frying pan instead.

[notjustinthemirror]

I'd recommend a crowbar for maximum bludgeoning power, but whatever they have handy I suppose.

Do they ever find these mythical things you send them out looking for?

[fluffytails]

Well, usually not. You can't find and slay mythical monsters that only exist when I want them to. [Well, for a given value of "exist"]

[notjustinthemirror]

Hey, one day they might surprise you. Come back with the head of a Chimera and you'll have to give back their kingdoms.

[fluffytails]

That'd be unfortunate, as I wouldn't like to give them my hand in marriage! I suppose I could just give them a hand in marriage.

And the reign over kingdom of deep-grotto-in-hill-in-middle-of-nowhere.

[notjustinthemirror]

I've heard if you lacquer them they won't even rot and stink up your house.

Sounds lovely.

[fluffytails]

Yes, I can imagine the smell would be a bother.

Depends on who you ask, I suppose. A prince would complain after a while. Well, he could complain to the bats, I suppose. Not that it'd do much.

[notjustinthemirror]

Why would he? He could kick back, relax, and not have to worry about doing actual prince things like waging wars and levying taxes or whatever the hell it is they normally do.

[fluffytails]

Probably depends on the 'he' in question, some like the glory that they think war brings them.

[notjustinthemirror]

And how'd you get all this power to make princes do their own laundry and princesses go hunting for mythical animals?

[fluffytails]

Oh, I have no power to force anyone to do anything at all, I'm only a humble fox.

I'm merely good at making people think things are going on that aren't going on. They usually decide to do all sort of things on their own. I'd never force someone, you see. It's all their decision. I just give incentives.

[notjustinthemirror]

You know, foxes where I come from can't talk, or give incentives to do anything.

[fluffytails]

Oh, that's true - most can't. The really old ones can, though.

[notjustinthemirror]

So if I ever meet a fox with a whole bunch of tails I'll know better than to go looking for whatever it asks me to.

Duly noted.

[fluffytails]

You better do, else the fox might pout!