Video

[ruffntumblenut]

Hey.

So during this tournament thing I got to try sushi for the first time. Mind blowing.

Which got me wondering about what other foods I've never had before. So...I want some.

So tell me about your favorite foods, what they are, what they're made of, anything I should know before I ask Mindy to recreate them and so on.

For the record before I left home my favorite food was eel jerky, lamb stew and honey soaked blueberries for dessert. If you need me to explain those things to you...well too bad, I never learned how to cook.

Comments

[ruffntumblenut]

[Fumbled, scrambled, finally catches the bottle with both hands]

Woo!

[Opens it up and sniffs it curiously]

[former_endboss]

[If she didn't open that slowly she'll get a surge of soda bubbling out into her face-though that still works for getting the smell and taste of it-it's meat and sugar and salt and smoke and all kinds of flavors mixed together.]

So how is it?

[ruffntumblenut]

[Sprayed in the face, doesn't seem to care shoves it in her mouth and chugs. When she swallows she's grinning brightly]

I want more!

[former_endboss]

Do you now? What are you willing to do for it?

[ruffntumblenut]

[Drying off her face with a braid of hair]

Huh? Oh I dunno. Whattya want for it?

[former_endboss]

Would you throw the tournament for some?

[Lol, whut?]

[ruffntumblenut]

Pfft! No.

Sorry, you're good but not that good.

[former_endboss]

...I could give you like a keg full of this stuff if you do.

[ruffntumblenut]

Do you know who I am?

No...seriously.

I am RUFFNUT FUCKING THORSTON! Daughter of the Isle of Berk, dragon rider and viking warrior. I'm gonna be the next big immortal demon overlord! I've been crowned the multiverses next top model AND I DONT EVEN LIKE FASHION!

So you DARE to come here and ask me to throw the contest for a friggin' keg of soda that tastes like meat? After I lost and got my girlfriend back?

No FREAKIN' way!

[former_endboss]

Are we playing the names and deeds game? I'm Mir_teiwaz_Artonelico, mother of demons and monsters, the only Neo-pureblood beta Reyvateil. I've killed millions of humans, thousands of Reyvateils and Teru, and I have been redeemed for that deed. I am a scientist and a maiden of Metafalica, advisor to two goddesses and many other things besides.


So asking you to throw a contest for a keg of soda is a long way from my apex to.

[ruffntumblenut]

Yeah well...I don't know what half those words even mean!

But for a scientist? Thinking you could buy me off with soda was pretty dumb.

[former_endboss]

Being a scientist doesn't mean that you understand the social conventions of sports gambling and bribery. And that stuff is really good.

[ruffntumblenut]

It is really good...but not good enough.

I'm just saying, Scientists are supposed to be super smart.

[former_endboss]

Not in everything. Everyone knows that the best scientists are forgetful or absent minded or something like that.

[ruffntumblenut]

Not everyone obviously. The only scientist I ever hung out with was awesome and liked to blow stuff up.

[former_endboss]

Well, she had that in common with me. Explosions solve all problems. Even the ones they create.

[ruffntumblenut]

You got that right!

Between your meat soda and love of explosions I might actually like you.

[former_endboss]

Well, that just shows that you have good taste. Even if you do have convieniant horns on your hat.

[ruffntumblenut]

What's wrong with my hat?

[former_endboss]

Well, I'm a limp-wristed academic who can't even stay on her feet in a fight-but if you come over here, I'll show you.

[ruffntumblenut]

[Approches cautiously because damnit she likes her hat!]

[former_endboss]

[Do you know why real viking helmets didn't have horns? It's so tiny Reyvateils couldn't grab them and haul your head down to meet that knee they just kicked up.

Except Mir is too fail to actually do something like knee you in the nose and instead clips her patella on the useless forehead of a viking, reducing her to hopping around, clutching it in pain.]

That...wasn't how it was supposed to go! I need to try it again!

[ruffntumblenut]

[Ruffnut looks...decidedly unimpressed. It doesn't help that she has such a thick forehead to begin with. Almost casually she takes off her helmet and holding it by one of the horns swings it to bop the girl in the head]

Like your the first person to ever try that? Even if it had worked I'd just have hit you harder. I like the pain.

[former_endboss]

Like the pain or not, you've got handles on your head and anyone with a lick of sense will grab them-OW! Don't do that!

Your hair's long enough to work as a handle too, and even if you enjoy the pain, some people will still use that to hold you down and slit your throat.

[ruffntumblenut]

First off, this helmet is all I have left to remember my home from so BACK OFF!

[Another swat]

And secondly, I like my long hair. I don't care if people try to use it against me. I've gotten this far just fine.