netherworld_academy | (no subject)

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Hrm.

It seems some of you are only doing okay in the course of this tournament. I must admit, I've only seen a few people being truly entertaining or impressive with their solutions to the challenges presented.

So let's spice things up a little bit. I've had a case of magically-enhanced caffeine drinks hidden somewhere on the island. You may ask me, in a private thread, ten questions, one at a time, which I will answer honestly, though possibly cryptically, about their location. Questions that are irrelevant may result in the use of ancient curses, so don't try anything stupid.

The magic in these drinks is enough that you'll be able to enter a kind of "zone" where time will seem to slow, giving you better reaction to any situation presented you. Maybe that will help some of you be more impressive.

Oh, and don't drink more than two a day. Your heart might explode.

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If I drink 100 of these drinks, will time stop for everyone but me? Will I perceive the whole cosmos?

See what I said about "Your heart might explode." And replace 'might' with "Will". And add "like a grenade." And don't forget "It'll take the nurses a month to fix you up after that."

So don't do it.

That sounds like a challenge. I'm sure I can magically reinforce my tissues to take the strain.

But then you'd be muting the effect of the magic, so it wouldn't do much.

Not so! One can cover for the side effects of a drug slash magic spell without negating the primary effects.

Usually.

I think.

I have yet to see it. And I don't think it'd magnify that far.

Well, it is worth a try. Or perhaps an experiment on someone else. I saw it on some cartoon they aired on the local TV station. There was a foul mouthed robot and a one-eyed woman.

I... See.

I can tell you're not interested.

Have you tried the gambling options in the casino here on the island? It's quite varied.

Hrm. I might have to do that. Though I shouldn't be betting on the tournament itself.

No, probably not. Though they do offer bets on everything else that you might try. And card counting is encouraged.

... Wait, then how do they make money? If they allow counting, they probably allow other cheats.

Well, if they catch you with an ace up your sleeve they take you into a back room and break your arms and legs. Hacking the slot machines? Well there's a wood chipper out back.

Unless you play against other players, then they let you cheat like mad and just collect .1% of your winnings.

Oh, so in other words they're more or less clueless and rely on the fact that the average demon is even less intelligent.

Good to know.

Partly.

And partly because I think if they didn't let people cheat, nobody would come here.

Edited 2013-07-26 17:01 (UTC)

Sounds about right.

I think the demons get more fun out of cheating and the risk of being caught than they do the actual money. Which makes it unusually easy to fleece them, for the casino and for me.

Hey Eva-chan, can I drink it?

And if somebody's heart explodes from it, do you think I can get strong enough to heal that?

Because if I look at Secchan the wrong way I think my heart will explode. Like a lot more.

Konoka, dear? Hearts exploding are usually fatal.

Awww. Kinda knew that, but I wanted to hope for it.

Does that mean I'm a zombie for Secchan? And can I still drink it?

... What.

But I was wondering if I thought about Secchan while having that drink, and my heart would beat super fast and I could unlock some super healing spell!

Hey, Negi-kun had doping powers, why can't I?

The boyo's talents were... Different, Konoka.

And so are mine. I won't find them if I don't experiment!

Experiment on the living, and don't do things that cause certain death, then, would be my recommendation.

Eeehhhh...

So I can't have it, then?

Well, you could try and find it.

Okay!

...if none of the contestants find any, I'll take some!

I already hid it, sorry.

Silly, I already know you hid it, I'm saying if nobody finds 'em, I'll look for them myself!

Well no one's even started an attempt yet, so...

I object! You can't give people dangerous stimulants!

Oh, really?

It's actually in the tournament rules that I can provide tools of assistance, specifically including those that might be dangerous if used improperly.

Even if it is in the rules, it is wrong on a moral front! Can't you find something that is safer?

Well why would I want to do that? I picked the most potent item I could find.

You could of course find and destroy them.

Potent is no good if it causes side effects like exploding hearts.

I can't just destroy them. I need to find a safe method of removal.

Maybe down your gullet. I'm sure there's so much 'justice' as to let you steel your way through it.

Or maybe just follow the instructions and stick to one a day.

I don't need to give myself any stimulants to get all my duties done. We delinquents pride ourselves with that feat.

But how do you make sure they do follow them? Many demons here ignore those instructions, or refuse to read them.

Councilor Evangeline McDowell cannot be held responsible for the results of failure to follow directions.

But as a councilor, you should do everything in your power to make sure they follow directions. Accidents are to be forgiven, but the ones that purposefully do it need to be taken care of.

Oh, come off it. The Council represents whatever we damn well please. I have warned them, and if they fail to heed the warnings? Well, sucks to be them.