Experiment the 4th - Sunday's Cool

[maocontent]

 [Deep within a secured room, you can hear a demon banging on an organ, playing a wild but soulful tune.

The place the demon is inside is a holed up basement gym. The perimeter is surrounded by both EMP waves and terrible pictures of sinful acts protected by seals--it keeps both the angels and their robot enforcers away, though it's entirely defensive in nature. So what's going on here?]

MWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Enter Mao. He's in a priest's garb, holding what appears to be a Book of Evil. Mao narrates like a soulful priest.]

Behold! I am the Preacher of EEEEEEEEEEVIL! Give me your wretched and your hopeful, I will shower them with darkness and despair! Survivors will become my experiments!

Ladies and gents, I'm glad you can all make it. Sucks doesn't it? Those damnable Celestials have occupied our school, thinking they can run around and make people seeeeee the light, enforce draconian school rules without even a hint of dragons, and even socialize all of our food even though they're otherwise completely right wing! Who the hell does that kind of hypocrisy and not even revel in it?! They even got our Student Council President brainwashed! They're making her girlfriend very sad ;_;

Where the hell is your honor student spirit?! Are you going to stand for that delinquent crap?!

[The demons there resound with a strong "HELL NO!"]

These jerks are chucking more Bibles at us than Senator Holier Than Thou striking a book deal! Their so called "Good Word" sure didn't help us during the zombie invasion, and it sure won't help us now!

I'll show you a *true* good word! To hell with Celestia and their crappy rules! Sometime soon, I'll have a real scientific breakthrough, and we'll really send them packing!

What's the good word?!

"TO HELL WITH CELESTIA!"

What's the good word?!

"TO HELL WITH CELESTIA!"

MWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

[[Mao's also broadcasting this over video. Losing hope? Let Preacher Mao go cuh-rayzee on your problems!]]

Comments

[Frontdated a couple days]

[high_on_daylight]

... Your rambling is as maniacal and inconsistent as always.

Re: [Frontdated a couple days]

[maocontent]

The heeeeeelllll are you talking about?

The student masses had low spirits, crushed by the delinquency overtaken by this school. It's no Evil Academy, but it won't be unless I do something about it!

That's why you need to Open Your Heart~ Submit to EEEEVIL~

[Yes, Mao is attempting to sing. Something.]

Re: [Frontdated a couple days]

[high_on_daylight]

Your definition of "Evil" is unimpressive. Frankly, the Angels are doing a far better job of evil than you right now.

Re: [Frontdated a couple days]

[maocontent]

Keh, you call that true evil? All I see is right wing lunacy and enslaved student presidents! It must go DOWN! They can't understand that evil frees the soul~!

Running through the halls, unleashing stinkbombs, insidious plots to trick insecure sword girls into dating their girlfriends, that's what it means to let go and become eeeeevil!

Re: [Frontdated a couple days]

[high_on_daylight]

... You call that evil?

How about taking over entire regions, forcing your tyrannical plans upon others with no mercy, using violence and brainwashing to enforce the results?

They're taking power for the sake of power. That's a very pure form of evil, in my book.

[maocontent]

I was with you until that last part.

What about power for the sake of power? That's boring! They could at least use it to destroy a planet or something!

[high_on_daylight]

Destruction? A form of evil.

Maintaining tyrranical control forever, though?

[maocontent]

I'm not letting those stupid Celestials beat me to the punch!

[high_on_daylight]

Oh, I wonder...

[Video]

[dragon_moe]

... what do draconians have to do with making rules? Why would you even bring them up?!

[... clearly referring to a different use of the word than normal]

Re: [Video]

[maocontent]

My dearest lady who happens to know about dragons, I was hoping you might fill me in on that subject. That doesn't sound like the word I was using.

[Video]

[dragon_moe]

I've never seen them, but they're disgusting-

... wait, I'm not going to give you any ideas!

And I'm not your dearest anything!

[maocontent]

Mweeehhhhheheheheheh~ You're too late for that!

But what will you do about these Celestials? I'm sure they are many magnitudes worse than I.

[dragon_moe]

... you don't even know what draconians are.

What am I supposed to do about the celestials? There's too many of them.

[maocontent]

We have long since suffered under the thumb of Celestials! This madness ends here and now!

Our first order of business will strike whenever a certain swordswoman finally asks the student council president on a date!

[dragon_moe]

...

[dot dot dot]

Why does it matter if the stupid president gets asked out?

[maocontent]

You think the Celestials are going to let one of their linchpins go on an HONOR STUDENT date...

...with another girl?!

[DUN DUN DUUNNNNNN]

Mwaaaahahahaha, they're going to be pushing all their best to stop it, and that's when we counter. Their date goes up, Celestial spirit goes DOWN.

[dragon_moe]

What...

Do they actually care if she's dating some girl that much?

[maocontent]

They're Celestials. Of course they do!

Especially since sword girlie won't be getting brainwashed into doing the angel's deeds! It'll be the ultimate insult, and weeeee can add so much injury to that!

[Mao is sounding soulful again...]

[dragon_moe]

...... okay, how do you know for sure that it'll make them easy to counter attack?

I mean, the president being brainwashed didn't give them anything at all except one person.

[maocontent]

One person of utmost importance. You haven't seen any shows where somebody important going down sends a whole faction into disarray, have you?

[dragon_moe]

... what makes her so important?

The only thing I could see her good for to them is maybe as bait for a trap or something.

[maocontent]

She's the Student Council President!

Even though she an obnoxious medic-human with a girlfriend, they feel that since she's the top of the Student Council, then everyone answers to her, and they'll be easier to brainwash.

But I'm not giving them that. We change the tides today!

[dragon_moe]

... seeing how nobody followed what she was saying in her last broadcast, her position obviously isn't as important as you think it is.

[maocontent]

You're still thinking from our side, I'll give you that.

But if she was so unimportant to them, then why did they go through all the effort of getting her first?

[dragon_moe]

Because they didn't know any better at the time, obviously.

[maocontent]

And what makes you think the Celestials changed their minds now? My research on the matter is not wrong!

[dragon_moe]

You haven't shown me any of this research.

[maocontent]

My research is based on a complex combination of top secret sources and things that are plainly obvious! The top secret I won't give and you should see the obvious!

Just watch how they act when they go for the student council.

[dragon_moe]

... tell me when you have a good plan.

[maocontent]

I'll tell you when it's ready. I'll keep in touch~

[dragon_moe]

...

That's not what I meant!

I meant when you actually have something that won't have me rushing into some trap for your stupid Konoka!

...

Ugh, nevermind, I'm just going to find a real weakness myself!

[maocontent]

Good luck with that... remember, a SOUL of evil will defeat them.

[insert soulful evil laughter here]

[dragon_moe]

... yeah, well, my race is chaotic evil by default, at least, somebody told me that once, so whatever.

[maocontent]

Chaotic eeeeevil you say?!

[There is suddenly lots of huffing and puffing and drooling.]

[dragon_moe]

... ugh.

[Click, disconnected]

[notjustinthemirror]

Draconian and dragon isn't the same thing, but I admire your tenacity nonetheless.

Though it might be more effective to preach evil directly at them. Just in case.

[Or he just wants to see a fight. Whatever.]

[maocontent]

That's the next part of my plan! I just need to get the masses ready for a fight first!

[notjustinthemirror]

Along with preaching you could try setting them on fire. I've found that's fairly effective. Just something to think about.

What are these experiments you're talking about?

[maocontent]

Fire's not my specialty, but freezing them to death, on the other hand...

Oh, I thought about capturing a few and doing experiments on their bodies! I'll turn them into my moe moe battle maids that will fire rockets from their mouths!

[notjustinthemirror]

I've never seen someone freeze to death.

[Oh now he's interested.]

Battle maids that.... You have those?

[maocontent]

Not yet, but I sure as hell want to make one! *huffff huuuffffff*

[notjustinthemirror]

And what happens if all the survivors for experimentation are big fat guys?

[maocontent]

Then I'll just learn a bit of surgery and TURN them into moe moe female angel battle maids!

[notjustinthemirror]

... Ew.