First Waltz - Welcome to Room 302, Sucker

[pervy_elf_fancier]

Well. Catherine Elstwhere apparently has some adjustments to make regarding her room. This place might actually be worse than some of the prisons she's been to, at least the ones that didn't involve kidnappers with chains and delusions of Catherine being a Princess.

She looks with dismay from her VERY full bags of luggage to her VERY small closet and sighs, doing Outfit Triage.

Then she logs on to her myPhone. And checks her student ID. And howls in outrage.

"Huraine's shapely bosom, I'm the Duchess Elstwhere, WHY is my title listed as 'Pervy Elf Fancier!?'"

Way to tell the entire dorm, Cath. Just saying.

Comments

[notjustinthemirror]

That is the absolute best title we've had so far. Wear it with pride.

[His has a question mark in it for reasons he can't fathom.]

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"I have been the Marquess Gorm, Ms. Wulfhammer, even an Outlaw Queen, Ocules knows, but you sleep with one elf!"

[notjustinthemirror]

I think it's more referring to your choice of elf. I'm gonna guess something in leather?

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"That's rather more Louni's style than Falwythwr's. Who assures me that in her defense, she was drunk when she got that tattoo."

[notjustinthemirror]

I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about.

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"Never mind. I suppose you found yourself a student of this place? Tell me, what ignoble title did they heap on your head?"

[notjustinthemirror]

The Alcohol Demon.

At least I got a the. Makes it distinguished I suppose.

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"An alcohol demon? I suppose there are worse things you could be than the Djinn Cthonic."

She lets that pass a beat too long.

"I am Catherine of Elstwhere. It's my first day, as you can probably tell. Is the entire bureaucracy here like this?"

[im_gonna_heal_u]

You know about elves?!

[Konoka is sparkling like a fangirl viewing a bishounen with a clear lake view.]

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"Intimately."

Cath doesn't seem to realize that this is PRECISELY the wrong way of phrasing it, even given her expression.

[hungry_for_fights]

It's just a title, don't worry about it.

[Says the person who, for some reason, has the title "Gigolo Overlord"]

[im_gonna_heal_u]

Oooh!

You know that sounded perverted, right? Now you need to tell me all the details!

[pervy_elf_fancier]

Duchesses, even Pervy Elf Fanciers, don't facepalm. They instead two-fingers-forehead.

"When I married Embric of Wulfhammer, they didn't call me Ms Wulfhammer. When I became the most feared highwaywoman in Aerisland, they didn't call me an Outlaw Queen. But you sleep with one elf..."

She sighs and rolls her shoulders. "I'm not getting out of this until I tell you, am I?"

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"One of many that I've earned, when I specifically requested the title Duchess of Elstwhere!"

[hungry_for_fights]

...

... but there's better things to do than worry about that...

[im_gonna_heal_u]

Nope!

But you can vote a bill to change your title if you don't like it! I'm probably gonna vote against it though. I like that title

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"Like wonder why I'm in a school for demons? I suppose it's a level appropriate challenge, but really."

She tilts her head at you. "I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage."

[hungry_for_fights]

I wasn't referring to that...

... disadvantage? But we haven't started fighting yet.

Spoilers: She will never have any other title in this game

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"We were drunk, Echinacea forgot to warn me she was in the bath, and she had the most - the most amazing -"

She shakes her head. "A-anyway. It is often and accurately said that the most amazing texture in the world to feel is elven skin. There, are you satisfied?"

She's blushing. Furiously.

[notjustinthemirror]

The Gin what now?

Like what? There's exploding penguins and the student council has a zombie on it. It's like that.

Welp

[im_gonna_heal_u]

A female elf?

[Konoka's sparkles now rival Sonic's invincibility shield.]

Wow...

[pervy_elf_fancier]

Fighting yet? Okay, that does it. If you put it that way, she's just going to take a surprise round.

She points her wedding band at you - the one with the rose design of Huraine worked into it to make it a holy symbol? That one - and screams "LUCENT LANCE!"

A blazing pure beam of L*O*V*E pours out of her holy symbol right at you. Heads up, Overlord!

Re: Welp

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"...I believe you have me at a disadvantage. May I have your name."

She's embarrassed and angry enough that she forgot the question marks.

[hungry_for_fights]

[she's a bit surprised by the sudden attack, but at the same time-]

Yay~

[Yup, she really said that. She counters by suddenly hoisting a huge sword from out of nowhere and smashing it into the ground, intercepting the love love attack with a wave of dark energy]

[pervy_elf_fancier]

"Exploding penguins. Dear me. And a zombie. I take it they're not very keen on things axiomatic or holy in this place."

At the terrible reception of her joke, she shrugs. "The Gin and Terrible Punchline, apparently."